This affidavit is for all individuals who think that taking safety precautions is a waste of time. It was brought to us by the Sheet Metal and Air Conditioning National Association.

I hereby attest that I prefer:

• Seeing-eye dogs to safety glasses.
• Silence to ear plugs.
• Brain damage to hard hats.
• Lung damage to respirators.
• Club feet to safety boots.
• Missing fingers to saw guards.
• Broken limbs and backs to safety belts and nets.
• Death and disability to common sense.

Because I realize that my actions affect others, I have:

• Assured my family that they won't miss me.
• Found someone else to keep my family safe and financially secure when I'm not around.
• Assured my family that my being crippled won't be any hardship.

Because no one can persuade me that being safe is better, I do hereby execute this document and waive all my rights to a long, happy, fruitful and productive life.

Signed…